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Half the Old Testament is the word Remember. No, that’s not true. It’s 48%. I just rounded up. As Israel forgot, so do we. Today’s insert is a simple reminder of some of the standards we work to maintain as we sing for the Lord. My prayer is that you […]

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Gender Series – Split Sessions Wrap-up

December 13th, 2010

Last week was our final split session, concluding the second of the three overall “stages” of our series: 1) Biblical groundwork on gender, 2) Practical applications of roles, and now… 3) Some good ideas about dating… Wait!

To summarize, men and women are created equal in position before God and are equally loved by him, but the roles that each is expected to fill is different.  Men are initiators and protectors, while ladies are at their best when they are a challenge and are submissive.  (Uh oh!  Are we really teaching on submission?!)  The men are responsible for the home and so much rests on his shoulders as he submits himself to others and ultimately to God.

While each role has its biblical implications and commands, a lot of specifics are not addressed in Scripture.  That is why we spent several weeks on some practical applications of what it might look like for a man to be 100% masculine and a lady to be 100% feminine–the way God originally designed us and intended us to be!

Among many other lists of things we spent time saying that a man should never threaten, touch, or tease a lady; and a lady should never be aggressive, alluring, or argumentative.  Someone might think, “I can’t believe you’re degrading me like this.”  But to that I say you are at your absolute pinnacle of power when you are most submitted to your role in God’s eyes.  There’s nothing that can touch a man who uses his authority in a godly way and who cherishes a lady like a precious flower.  In contrast, a woman who tries to take that authority only comes across as a sad shell of what she could be.  God’s design is absolutely unstoppable when a lady uses her godly influence, especially when coupled with a husband’s godly authority.

“So, Bro. Ryan, you’re talking to my kids about marriage?!”  Well, in a sense I am, because most of the references in the Scripture about gender are tied to marriage.  But we’re spending most of our time on the practical, daily lives they live.  I taught a whole lesson on the fact that they ought not be touching or teasing with each other.  You may find a “no-touch” policy ridiculous and absurd, but I’d challenge you to show me how it can help their spiritual lives.

We’re teaching on simply “stepping it up” in every area of our lives: service, dress, speech, attitude, look, interaction, friendliness, etc.  Simply put… Be sharp!  A way to accomplish “stepping it up” is to take practical steps that show on the outside what’s on the inside. The following are in no particular order, but here are some things we encourage in our teens:


  • Dress up for church
  • Shake at least 5 people’s hands during the welcome time
  • Introduce yourself and greet every guest to the class and every guest speaker
  • Speak up when addressing others
  • Look others in the eyes, and (men) give a firm handshake
  • Volunteer to help with anything
  • Attend every Saturation Saturday
  • Write one encouraging note per month to someone in any church leadership
  • Setup/cleanup pie fellowships


  • Always wear a belt
  • Keep your hair off your ears and off your collar
  • Wear a tie on Sunday mornings
  • Iron your clothes
  • Mow Pastor’s lawn


  • Wear a skirt or dress to church
  • Appeal, don’t demand (and you’ll get what you want!)
  • (And, my personal favorite) If a guy tries to touch you, 1) take your pristinely-manicured thumbnail, 2) shove it right in his eye, 3) push on!!

These are tangible evidences that we’ll be able to see (and sometimes “police!”) in our teens.  It encourages Mrs. Jamie and me more than anyone can understand when we see the teens’ hearts and willing spirits to change and grow.  We LOVE being around them, and it is so rewarding to come in the next week and see haircuts, shirts tucked in, people being more friendly, and teens being generally more “sharp.”  Parents, thank you for letting us help!  We will do all we can to help your teen grow.  If you EVER need anything, we’re just a phone call, text, or email away.

As I always try to encourage the teens:  Do right, love God and love others!

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